Natural Birth Gone Horribly Wrong | Emergency C-Section

After two years, I’m finally going to share the traumatic birth story of my first child as I think about and prepare for the birth of my second.

The Backstory

Originally this post was going to be titled something like Second Child: What I’ll Do Differently This Time And What I Won’t Change. I actually had no plans to ever share my first birth story, but I realized that sharing what I’ll do differently this time wouldn’t mean nearly as much unless you know the back story of why I’ll do things differently and what I’m trying to avoid this go ‘round. This is going to be a very long story so consider yourself warned.

I think it goes without saying, but these two posts will definitely have some TMI and stuff that isn’t really talked about in polite society. If that bothers you, this may not be the post for you. Actually, the hard truth of it is, you need to get over it because having children is full of TMI and gross things that you never imagined you’d do. There’s so much you’re not prepared for *insert laughing so hard you’re crying emoji*.

Anyway, back to the birth story. For my whole entire life, even since I was a kid myself, all I’ve ever wanted was to get married and have a family. It was my life dream and ambition. Fast forward to 2017 and I was married and found out I was pregnant with our first child.

I went into overdrive research mode. I already knew that I wanted to go contrary to mainstream and have a natural birth. Surprise, surprise…If you don’t know, I’m always going against mainstream. Maybe I have a little rebel in me after all.

So I started researching everything possible about birth and the different things that happen during the whole process start to finish and all of the things I needed to consider and decide before go time arrived.

Do Your Research On Natural Birth Options

I highly recommend doing your research and being prepared if you’re planning to have a natural birth. Actually, even if you don’t want a a natural birth, you need to know what happens and can happen during labor and delivery. Trust me when I say that labor is not the time that you want to be making difficult decisions if you can avoid it!

If you haven’t researched and written out your birth plan yet, check out my post on How To Write A Natural Birth Plan. I included tons of the research I did and went over all of the things that you need to decide and have written down before you go into labor. I’ve also made up a simple birth plan template that you can download for free and fill out for your own customizable birth plan and go over with your doctor. It’s very much worth the read if I do say so myself.

>>>How To Write A Natural Birth Plan {and why you need one} + A free printable template<<<

One of the first decisions I made was to go to the Birth Center that is in the closest big city to where we live. I had heard so many good things about it, as well as the midwives that worked there, and I was super excited to give it a try. A home birth was something that I was very drawn to, but wasn’t quite ready for since this was my first baby and we live about an hour from the hospital.

My appointments with the midwives at the birth center went well. During the course of my pregnancy I saw all 3 of them multiple times. They scheduled that way intentionally since you didn’t know which one would be on call the day you went into labor.

It’s A ___ + Breech At 20 Weeks

20 weeks came and we went in for our anatomy scan ultrasound. The baby looked perfect and we found out we were having a little girl! She was breech which they said wasn’t a concern that early in the game. Nevertheless, I was concerned being as how I was a breech baby. My mom went in and had a version (the doctor physically turns the baby in the womb), was induced, and yours truly came into the world. I didn’t turn on my own and I didn’t have any confidence that my baby would either.

Even though the midwives downplayed my concern and said it wasn’t anything to worry about at that point, I again started researching all of the natural methods for getting your baby to turn. I read about the spinning babies techniques, using peppermint oil, all of the crazy positions, and even using a bag of frozen veggies on your tummy. And I committed to doing it all.

For the next 4 weeks I did all of the things that the internet could surface for how to turn a breech baby. Let me tell you some of those positions are really uncomfortable! You can imagine my surprise when at my next appointment the midwife said my baby was head down! I was happy but skeptical since I never felt her turn and I expected to feel it that far along.

Throughout the rest of my appointments my skepticism was laid to rest as each of the other midwives at every appointment confirmed that my baby was head down and everything was progressing well.

The rest of my pregnancy was pretty typical. I spent time gathering and washing little girl clothes, got the baby bed and co-sleeper set up, and tried my best to prepare myself for what would most likely be the worst pain of my life. I also did my best to prepare my body for what it was about to go through by using evening primrose oil both orally and vaginally as well as doing perineum stretching with a spray called Claraderm.

Because the majority of my pregnancy had been pretty miserable, as my due date crept up I was so ready to get that baby out! I had tons of Braxton Hicks contractions toward the end of my pregnancy but still no real ones yet.

Labor Begins

The night before her due date, my husband and I were sitting in the living room watching TV. Sleeping would’ve been much smarter but alas, entertainment won out. Almost on the dot at midnight, I felt something strange. It was that feeling of right when your period starts. Unsure whether that was possibly my water breaking or if I had started bleeding, I headed to the bathroom to investigate.

I didn’t even make it to the next room before I knew for sure that my water had broken. Amniotic fluid had trickled down my legs and was pooling in my house shoes as I walked. If you’ve never had your water break before, don’t be fooled…it’s not the dramatic gush they show on tv.

I still hadn’t had any contractions but I went ahead and called the ‘midwife on call’ number to give them a heads up on what was going on. She told me to go to bed and try to get some sleep and we’d see what happened from there.

I headed to bed but of course had way too much adrenaline going at that point to sleep. About 30 minutes after I went to bed the contractions started. They weren’t too bad at first but there was no doubt that it was the real deal especially since I had been having so many Braxton Hicks.

Fast Natural Labor

I hadn’t planned to time the contractions right from the start since I assumed things would start off pretty slow but after the first 3 or 4 coming close and consistent I decided to get out the timer and see what we were looking at. 6 minutes apart give or take from the very beginning. I kept timing for the next couple of hours and the longest apart between contractions was 8 minutes which only happened once! I was pretty shocked since they always say contractions tend to start pretty sporadic and far apart.

Right from the get go I had tons of pressure “down there”. I’m not even sure how to explain it, but pretty much the only position I could semi-comfortably be in was upright. Sitting was definitely a no-go and laying wasn’t very comfortable either. So for the next few hours I spent most of the time kneeling and leaning on the birth ball. It was actually much more manageable than I expected. Free tip…expect the absolute worst and then it most likely won’t be as bad as you thought. If it is, you won’t be as let down. It may seem like a twisted theory but it worked for me during labor.

Sometime around 5:30 on the morning of our due date, I called the midwife back to let her know how things were progressing. I was thinking it was getting close to time to load up and head that way. She seemed very nonchalant about it, said stay home and assured me that first time births always take a long time and I’d still have plenty of time left.

Keep in mind that we live an hour away from the birth center and it was getting close to morning traffic time. I had a fair amount of concern about getting stuck in traffic or behind a wreck on the interstate that would make it really difficult to get to the birth center. Being in labor is NOT the time to get stuck on the interstate!

Time To Go

After I talked to her, I woke Eric up and told him I thought we needed to get everything loaded up and be ready to go. We got things ready and I called my mom. I told her what the midwife had said and she immediately said she thought we needed to be heading somewhere. A very dear friend of mine who had trained as a midwife had agreed to be my doula, so we decided to meet her at my mom’s house which was about the same distance from the hospital as our house.

The 30 minute ride there was very uncomfortable. Sitting wasn’t really an option at all so I rode kneeling over the seat of our single cab pickup truck. By the time we got there things were definitely feeling more intense.

Getting Mixed Signals + Labor Confusion

The doula checked me and to the shock of us all, said I wasn’t dilated at all. She called the midwife to talk to her about how intense things were but that I wasn’t dilated and the midwife told her the same things she had told me. Stay home, it’ll be a while. At that point we were all starting to feel that something wasn’t right and the advice of the midwife wasn’t adding up with what was going on.

My contractions had gotten closer together and within an hour of getting to my parent’s house, I started feeling very strong urges to push. It wasn’t very long at all and those strong urges turned into what I had heard described as an irresistible urge to push. I distinctly remember questioning why I would be feeling like I needed to push if I wasn’t even dilated.

As a side note, I had been planning to do the “listen to your body” pushing when the urge became irresistible rather than a more instructed pushing. The theory is that your body is going to tell you when that time comes.

Like I said earlier, in labor is not the time you want to be having to make decisions. All of your energy and focus is on getting through the contractions as they come. But at that point, the contractions were unbearable and it was nearly impossible not to push. If my doula had not been right there breathing with me, there’s no way I would’ve been able to keep from pushing.

The midwife was at this point still saying we needed to stay home {!} and that it would still be a while, but I said it was time to go. I couldn’t handle it any longer and we needed to find out what was going on.

The Worst Ride Ever

My mom, doula, husband, and I loaded up into my mom’s minivan and my dad and 2 brothers drove our truck down there. Again, sitting wasn’t an option. Thankfully the middle row of seats is 2 captain seats so I spent the hour ride kneeling between the seats. My husband was in the seat beside me trying to help but feeling quite helpless at that point. My mom was driving.

We were only about half way there and the contractions were coming practically back to back. I knew my mom was super nervous and going the speed limit, trying to be very careful. I told her she needed to put her flashers on and go!

Thankfully, she kicked it up a few notches and we didn’t get stuck in traffic.

The Short Birth Center Experience

We pulled into the birth center and went straight it. Things happened so fast after we got there, that it’s even kind of difficult to keep track of exactly what went down. I was having a super hard time with the contractions coming one right after the next and feeling the urge to push that I really couldn’t resist at that point. All the way there, I had been thinking I needed to tt and as soon as I sat down on the toilet, I had a huge contraction. I think at that point when the midwife saw the intensity is when she finally believed that something was going on. Still thinking that I wasn’t dilated and needing some relief, I decided to get straight into the shower and save the tub for later on.

I got in the shower and Eric went to get his swimming trunks on so he could get in with me. I definitely needed his support! As soon as I got in the shower, the midwife checked me to get an idea of where I was at in the labor process. She called in one of the other midwives who was at the birth center and got her to come check me as well. They immediately made me get out of the shower and lay in the bed, which was a horrible position at that point.

During this whole transition between the shower and bed, my mom had heard them mumbling something to each other and she was about on the point of a nervous breakdown. She thought she had heard them say something was wrong with the baby like a prolapsed cord. I remember laying in the bed, waiting for the midwives to come back and seeing her sitting on a bench on the side of the room with our doula friend’s arm around her shoulders looking like she was on the verge of tears. We didn’t really have a clue what was going on and Eric still hadn’t gotten back yet.

The Bad News

They came bustling back in wheeling an ultrasound machine with them. They quickly got the machine set up and started an ultrasound on me. In seconds they made the announcement that the baby was breech, I was fully dilated and I’d have to be transferred to the hospital. I had so many thoughts and emotions at that point. “How is that even possible?”, I demanded. Their answer? “Well, sometimes the baby just turns.” I was angry, scared, and astounded. Somehow a full term baby had turned breech and I didn’t even know it? How is something like that even possible? Spoiler alert…it isn’t.

Transferring In A Blur

Everything from that part on happened so fast that it’s really somewhat of a blur. They had called the hospital, which was only about a mile away, to tell them we were coming and to meet us at the emergency entrance with a stretcher. They also called the backup doctor who would be meeting us there. He later told us that was the first time he had ever driven through red lights to get to a birth!

They slapped a hospital gown mostly around my naked body and instructed me to sit in the wheelchair they had rolled up. My mom had been sent to get her van and pull it around to the back door. They wheeled me down the long hallway and to the van and I somewhat precariously perched across the 2 middle seats with my doula next to me, my mom at the wheel again, and the midwife in the passenger seat. We had been at the birth center for less than 20 minutes.

Keep in mind I had actually been fully dilated this entire time, likely since I was at my parent’s house and started having strong urges to push, with super intense contractions coming literally back to back with only seconds between them. What the doula had mistakenly thought was my cervix was actually a soft little baby bottom.

So back in the van, the midwife started hollering at my mom to go even though Eric hadn’t made it back yet. She just kept saying to leave him and they could come in our truck as soon as they got finished. My focus was so inward that I really didn’t hear much of what was going on during the short ride there but my mom filled me in. On our way out of the birth center parking lot, we passed the firetruck that the hospital had sent in response to our call. Real helpful *face palm*.

The midwife kept screaming at my mom not to stop even when there was oncoming traffic that she was waiting for. We would have gotten in a wreck more than once if my mom hadn’t been paying attention and had just followed what the midwife was screaming at her to do. After 2 or 3 near accidents, we rolled up to the emergency entrance. They still hadn’t gotten there yet with the stretcher.

So there I was, the midwife holding my legs apart {why?}, wearing a hospital gown that wasn’t even tied in the back and provided virtually no coverage whatsoever, lying across the seats of my moms van for everyone to see. If I had been in any condition to care, I would’ve been mortified but as it was, I think I would’ve gone through the hospital naked to get the baby out.

The Drama Unfolds

The hospital workers ran up with the stretcher and what ensued from there on out can most accurately be described as an episode out of a hospital tv drama. I know they say tv dramas are never realistic but I had the distinct feeling I was living one in that moment.

They got me on the stretcher and took off running through the hospital. The nurses pushing the stretcher were yelling at people to get out of the way and telling my mom to run ahead and get the elevator open. She had stopped at the front desk to tell the people that my husband was right behind us and ask them to tell him where to go so she hadn’t caught up enough to get ahead of the stretcher. A maintenance worker saw us coming and heard them wanting the elevator open, dropped his tool, darted to the elevator and got it there for when we reached it. He even rode with us in the elevator to get the next one open!

It’s strange how in that moment it seems like everything was so clear whereas minutes before I didn’t even hear the conversations going on in the van. It was like everything was happening in slow motion.

We got to the labor and delivery floor and they wheeled me into what I assume was a prep room. There were about 3 different nurses and a doctor all doing things to me at the same time. One nurse was putting in an IV and the doctor was shoving papers in my face to sign giving them permission to do a c-section.

Too Much To Handle

That’s the point where I almost had a meltdown. It was too much. Everything had happened too fast and my brain was so occupied with labor that it hadn’t even been able to process the rapid chain of events yet. And now a doctor was in my face telling me I had to agree to something that I had been dead set against. I looked around and saw my mom, the only familiar face, standing a little back in the room looking just as overwhelmed and bewildered as I felt. I needed someone in that moment who loved me and cared about me. Someone who truly cared about what happened to me and my baby, not someone who was just there for a day job.

I called her and she came to the side of the stretcher and held my hand as I asked her what to do. If I had been at a different local hospital I probably would’ve actually had a choice as they had a doctor who was very experienced with and didn’t think twice about a breech delivery. As it was, a c-section was really my only option but I needed help making that call. I just needed someone to tell me it was ok.

So I signed the paper and they wheeled me right back out of that room and down the hall to surgery. When Eric pulled up to the hospital the front staff my mom had asked to give him directions sent him to the completely wrong floor so he hadn’t even gotten to us yet! As they pushed my stretcher into the surgery room, the doctor made it to my bedside and said, “I know this isn’t how you’d want to meet, but I’m Dr. Dickerson.” I didn’t know it until after the fact, but Eric ran around the corner just in time to see them wheel me into the operating room. Not even knowing what was happening, he spent the next few tense minutes thinking he could never see either of us alive again. Finally, he caught up with my mama and she filled him in on the situation.

Because I hadn’t had an epidural, they were knocking me out which meant none of my family could be in the room. They moved me to a different bed and got everything ready in what I’m sure was record breaking time. The anesthesiologist was at my head and the doctor was asking if everyone was ready. I distinctly remember thinking, “They’re about to cut me open and I’m not even out yet! But I guess he knows what he’s doing”. And that’s the last thing I remember. Less than 10 minutes after arriving at the hospital, my little frank breech baby had been delivered via c-section. I think the official number was 7 minutes.

Recovery

I don’t know how long it had been before I woke up in recovery, I think about an hour later. I was freezing, shivering violently, and it felt like I had cotton in my mouth I was so thirsty. The nice little man nurse brought heated blankets to warm me up and fed me ice since I couldn’t have water.

I don’t remember what else happened or how long I was in recovery. I know when they wheeled me into my room, all of my family was there with this tiny little baby wrapped up in a blanket and I asked if that was my baby. Honestly, I don’t remember much from even the next 2 days. The anesthesia and whatever the amnesia drug they give you during surgery knocked me for a major loop! Plus I was basically doped up on narcotic pain meds.

A Few Memories That Stand Out

There are moments that stand out in my memory for whatever reason. One was when Dr. Dickerson came in later to check on me. He not only came to see how I was doing but was so empathetic to how everything had turned out and prayed with us before he left.

Another was when the midwife came back by later that day and her whole attitude was one of pride at how fast they had gotten me to the hospital. Not concern or the least bit apologetic for the fact that it was their fault I had ended up needing to go to the hospital for emergency surgery. My poor little newborn’s legs wouldn’t even straighten out when she was laid down for a diaper change and the doctor confirmed that she had been breech the entire time. Yet all 3 of them had said for the last at least 14 weeks of my pregnancy that she was head down.

In Hindsight

In hindsight, the birth of my first would have most likely turned out very differently had she actually been head down and in the proper position. As fast as my labor went even with her being breech, she most probably would’ve been born at my parent’s house or speeding down the interstate in a white Honda van.

I’m so thankful for my sweet, healthy little girl but the way she entered the world couldn’t have been much farther from what I worked so hard for. It was a very traumatic experience for both my husband and I, as well as my mom. Poor Eric didn’t know what was going on. No one had stopped long enough to inform him and didn’t even get directed to the right place to find us.

The emotional trauma is hard to understand unless you’ve been there. I feel like I was betrayed by those who I trusted to care for me and robbed of an experience that should’ve been precious and peaceful. One that I had worked extremely hard for and earned by getting all the way there. Physically, I had a very long and painful recovery. I’ve since heard many people talk about the drastic difference between a planned c-section and an emergency one. It was definitely an experience that I don’t care to ever repeat!

So that’s the backstory…the prelude, if you will, for my next post: what I will do differently this time around with hopes to avoid such a botched natural birth attempt.