8 Things Every Expectant Mother Should Do | Things I won't change for my second birth

I’m sharing 8 things that I think are super important for every expectant mom to do during the pregnancy and birth phase to make it be as easy and pleasant as possible!

My first pregnancy and birth was a huge learning experience and there were a few things that I committed to doing differently the next time I got pregnant. But there were also a lot of things that I chose to do that worked out great and helped the whole process be more pleasant.

>>>Second Baby: What I’ll Do Differently This Time<<<

These are the things that I’ll definitely be doing again for this second pregnancy and any more pregnancies that I may have. I’d recommend them for every expectant mother with the exception of a natural birth and labor if that’s not the kind of thing you’re in to. If you are, go for it! Even though I didn’t make it to the delivery part, the natural labor went really well and gave me a brand new perspective on what I could accomplish when I put my mind to it!

8 Things I Won’t Change This Time:

1. A Natural Birth/Labor

Even though I didn’t quite succeed with the natural birth I had envisioned, I’m planning to shoot again for a natural, peaceful birth. I’ll definitely be more prepared and barring unforeseen medical emergencies {a ruptured placenta, breech, etc.} I feel like I have a really good chance of accomplishing it this go round.

My labor went really well and quick and I have no doubt the birth would’ve gone great as well had she been head down. I don’t think we would’ve even made it to the Birth Center!

If you missed my birth story, you can check it out here: Natural Birth Gone Horribly Wrong | Emergency C-Section

2. Reaching Out For Help

Things were much harder than I anticipated postpartum, mostly due to the circumstances of the delivery. I was in so much pain and couldn’t even get on and off of the toilet without help for at least a week after the c-section. My whole entire body felt like I had been beat. I was seriously so sore over my whole body and couldn’t figure out why. Finally I asked one of the nurses about it and if that was normal. Her reply was, “Well, I can tell you exactly why you’re so sore. You were fighting so bad coming out of the anesthesia that there were 6 nurses on top of you, trying to hold you down. You’re strong!”

My mom was a godsend in those days of recovery. She came and stayed with me for the first few weeks and helped us so much. I ended up staying with her again later when I was drowning in postpartum depression and having to make multiple trips a week to town for therapy with a tiny baby. I’m not sure how we would have made it through that experience without her!

3. Having A Doula/Labor Coach

Having my mom and husband at my first birth for emotional support was wonderful. They’re the 2 people in this world that I’m closest to and I wouldn’t want to go through that experience without them there.

That being said, I so appreciated having a doula/labor coach there who knew the birth process better than any of us and how to help get through the contractions. During those post transition contractions, her breathing with me was invaluable to get through the back to back intensity.

4. Minimum/Only Close Family At Birth

I’m naturally more of a introvert. Ok, I’m totally an introvert! I knew I just wanted to have my immediate family there for the birth. Not that I don’t love and appreciate the rest of my family and friends, because I do! But I knew having more people there would just stress me out and hinder rather than help me being in a relaxed {as possible} frame of mind.

Everyone is different and for some, birth is a very private, personal, vulnerable time. Some people want everyone they know surrounding them in that time and showering them in attention. I just wanted quiet and relaxed, with the people that are closest to me. So basically, whether thats only immediate family or the whole gang.

It can be a very difficult road to navigate tactfully if you have friends or family members who think they should be at the birth but you don’t feel comfortable with them there. It really all boils down to the fact that this is you having a baby, not them. You really do need to do what’s going to be best for you.

5. Taking A Comfort Measures Class

Now I don’t think this is something that I’ll actually physically do again but I’ll definitely take out my notes and handouts from the class to review before labor starts. It was so valuable just to learn of different positions and techniques to help manage contractions. The main position I was in the whole labor was using a birthing ball which I wouldn’t have even know about had we not taken that class.

6. Research Everything And Be As Prepared As Possible

Obviously researching and being prepared doesn’t guarantee that you’ll have the wonderful birth experience you’ve always dreamed of, but it sure goes a long way to help achieve that goal! Being in labor is not when you want to be making difficult decisions like whether to get an episiotomy or risk a tear, fetal monitoring and so many more things that can come up. It’s also a lot harder to get all the info and angles to a situation {aka informed consent} when your brain is so focused on only one thing…getting that baby out!

If you still need to do some research and write your own birth plan, be sure to check out my post on how to write a natural birth plan {and why you need one}. It’s chock full of all the things that can come up before, during, and after labor that you need to be informed about and decide on ahead of time.

7. Prepare My Body For Labor

Around 34-36 weeks, I started using evening primrose oil, inserted vaginally. The idea behind the evening primrose oil is that it helps to soften everything up down there and helps your cervix to dilate faster and easier. Theres no way to know for sure, but I do believe it helped as I was fully dilated in about 8 hrs after a fairly easy labor. I’ll definitely be using it again this time closer to the end of my pregnancy.

The other thing I did to help get my body ready for birth was perineum stretches. I won’t go in to the details of how to do that…you can look it up 🙂 Basically you’re trying to stretch the tissues so that when the baby’s head comes out, your tissues will be more likely to stretch instead of being so tight and tearing. Because of ending up with a c-section, I wasn’t able to find out if it helped, but it’s definitely another thing I’ll be doing again this time.

8. Expect The Worst

I went in to labor expecting it to be the worst pain I’ve ever experienced in my life. I’m sure a lot of people would say I’m a pessimist for thinking like that but I think it served me so well in that situation! Compared to what I was expecting, it seemed like it wasn’t that bad…well up until the very end at least. If I had been thinking the whole time that it wasn’t going to be that bad, I most likely would’ve felt like I was dying because my expectations would’ve been so different from what I was experiencing.

When your expectations are low and something isn’t as bad as you think, it’s a pleasant surprise. When your expectations are really high and then it ends up not how you thought, it’s a major let down and disappointment. The actual birth was a huge disappointment to me because it was so far from what my hopes and expectations were. But the labor was so much better than my expectations that I didn’t think it was that bad! It’s all mental really. Now I’m no psychologist and I’m not educated in anything related to the human brain. That’s just how I interpret my experience and my expectations vs. reality.

I’ll probably be disappointed this time because I’m going to have the new expectation of labor not being that bad due to my last experience. I need to start psyching myself up again for it to be the worst thing I’ve ever gone through, haha!